Sometimes, I just want to write. I'll be reading a book, or swept up in a sense of nostalgia brought on by a game or movie, and I'll have the impulse to 'WRITE'. But when it comes down to actually doing it, I can feel stifled by feeling under-inspired, or negative self-talk that doubts whether or not I actually have anything original, intelligent or worthwhile to say. Yet the craving to write will still be there, or it reemerges some time later.
I've thought an anonymous blog would be ideal for my intentions. Anonymous, because I wanted to write whatever I damn well pleased, without fear of offending anyone, being judged, or having concern over whether or not I was boring my reader. Another option, posting on Facebook, felt too much like a plea for attention (I do have this negative association with Facebook, where it feels like people are all about "Me, me, me!" "Look at how awesome I am!" "Look at all the amazing things I do, places I go, how much people love me, how many friends I have, etc, etc, etc"), and like I said, I do not necessarily think that whatever I may want to write about would be worth other people's time to read, and to put it on Facebook, I feel, would be a slight imposition on the people who truly care about me and are interested in my life and thoughts. I want to be able to ramble, to write shitty poetry, to make grammatical mistakes, and to write about what interests ME. I want to write for myself.
Blogger isn't a perfect fit, but I'm going to stick with it. If I made a brand-new "anonymous" blog, it would still be linked to my account. However, I can't be arsed to learn a new site, or create a new account. Finally, I decided that it doesn't matter. I should be able to speak my mind, and it's up to other people whether or not they want to read what I write. If they don't like it, fine. If it's bad, oh well. Life is short, nobody knows what it's really all about. We are biological machines who are, cosmically speaking, unimaginably insignificant. So, damnit, I'm just going to write - right here.